Rheumatoid didnt beat me but it gave a good go!

Soo the next few months, i intend on relaxing a lot so i can enjoy my christmas with my family as i love spending time with them. I am off to see Cheryl cole next week my last concert of 2012 and i am quite excited! Then im off on my last holiday this year with my family at christmas we are off to see Santa! I see my consultant next week were i will find out whats coming next in terms of health, what treatment next, what my body will tolerate i dont know. Am i scared i sure am because its a step into the unknown but i am very lucky to have a fantastic group of friends and family around me who i know will be there for me through thick and thin no matter what happens. Im back to see my cardiologist in December to make sure my hearts playing OK depending on treatment choices but hopefully i have many years ahead before the dreaded Open heart surgery becomes reality but i know deep down that when it comes i'll be ok because i have friends and family who will be there to tell me its going to be. I know i need to rest and realax this next few months so my body can recharge and prepare for my next battle and also get back to were it was pre-summer. Its not easy having Rheumatoid but you can not let it win and believe me at times ive wanted to let it win because it hurt so much and the pain got to much but i got through because of my family and my friends they are always by my side. xxx

Disney On Ice

Now i forgot to update on this day out!

I was up early and got ready and waited for my cousin, aunty and little one to pick me up. I was ready when my cousin arrived so we got in to the car and then off we went to the NIA. When we arrived we wasnt sure were we could be dropped off as a wheelchair user. So we parked up near the disabled parking. I got out the car and into my wheelchair with little one on my lap we walked around the NIA and was looking for the entrance for disabled customers it wasnt overly well displayed. Once inside the NIA we went up for the show we found our seats which were good.

Disney on Ice was excellent we all really enjoyed it. The princess's were amazing as well as the hero's it was so well put together and has equally made me excited about going to eurodisney in july. Over all a fantastic day out.

We then went to meet my aunty after the show and got in the lift to go back down and we urm got a little stuck, the lift didnt move we tried it twice and still no movement so we swiftly made out way out of the lift and used the other lift.

Disney On Ice was fantastic and i loved it as did my cousin and her little girl it was a really good day out and i look forward to another day out soon with my family.

With love

v xx

March's excitment!

I normally have less pain during summer i am sure its because i am more happy with the sun being out and i hope this year i can have some fun as its been a long winter. I know it is only march but let the fun start!

I am off to see Disney On Ice at the NIA in two weeks with my cousin and her eldest and i can not wait .. we are going to see tinkerbell dance around the ice! It will be nice to spend some time with them both bit of a girlie morning!

Then im off to JLS at the end of the month which i can not wait for not seen them for 2 years on stage! It will be a good weekend with my lovely cousin, jls, shopping and food it will be a couple of days and be nice to spend time with my cousin!

I have lots of exciting stuff planned for this coming summer and hope to see lots of my friends and family a long the way and as we get there i'll of course let you know what im going to be doing and of course how it went afterwards.

Will also let you know how the NIA rates with wheelchair friendlyness! I have not before but i have been to a few places and had excellent service so lets hope they match the excitment!

My aunty and uncle

I have often refered to them as my second parents because growing up they was always there for me. I didn't know my mum was very sick when i was growing up but i know now that they would have been there for me if she would have died sooner than she did.

Because when my mum was rushed into hospital there was only one person my mum and dad would call my aunty and uncle and they came and i went to the house for my brother because my mum trusted them with her children. I remember asking my aunty on facebook "is my mum going to die" i knew the answer already deep down i knew some thing wasnt right.

But only my aunty and uncle could come and tell me in the kindest and loving way they did, just they had the words to tell me it was horrible to hear but i trusted them that i would be ok. They supported me through that time by pursuading me to see my mum and i thank you for that time and time again because if it wasnt for you i may not have gone and seen my mum which i would have regreted. You took chrage of the funeral arrangements when me and dad could just not have done those things we didnt have the strength you showed, the love and compassion you showed. Of course it didnt end there you helped my mum with the planning to and on top of all of that you stood in the church and spoke for the family which is more i could have done, you were so brave and i really looked up to you and was thankful you could do that for our family, your inner strength that day will always stay in my heart.

But beyond that you took me to university with i think everything but the kitchen sink! You have been happy for me when ive achieved things from school to now. You've taken me places and helped me figure out how to get places. You've given me advise and shown me love and kindness through out my life, you'd take me places with you and your own children. You've come to hospital appointments me. You have in some ways gone beyond an aunty and uncle. I know i can always talk to you that you're there at the end of the phone.



To my other Aunties and Uncles you are all VERY special to me and i love you all and im thankful for the support you have shown me over the years.

When i was young my granddad always told me family was important. I have the best family a girl could wish for xx

My Cousin

Many of us aren't particularly close to our cousins we see them as we grow up to talk to and play games with as i have with other cousins. But i have one cousin who is very special to me, why because we brought up more like sisters than cousins. We spent many hours together, i felt more like a sister than a cousin to her. She understands me without having to say anything. She was there for me through some dark days and some fun days, we have laughed and cried together, even to this day she supports me. Tomorrow i have a meeting with my support team and she's coming a long to support me and i dont know many cousins that would.

She held me tight the day of my mums funeral, she helped me get through that day with a smile and a nod of encouragement. She helped me choose the flower to wear, the music we chose together, we laughed at the memories and the music we choose afterwards. She made me feel like i was safe and it was ok to cry. She reassured me that things would be ok.

When my mum was in the hospice she was there for me, we had lunch together, she showed me round, she held my hand when i first went in because i was so scared. She just knew the right words.

She was there for me when i got my exams results, when southampton happened, when i left for university she made me cry with her kind words on a letter she wrote for me.

My cousin makes me laugh, shes there for me to talk to and for me to occastionally cry on her shoulder, she even does my reiki.

I count you as a sister more than a cousin because you have been there from day 1 the laugher and the sadness you never let me down or make me feel im going on to much. You're the best cousin a girl could wish you.

I love you with all my heart and i hope you know how much you've helped me over the years, life has been tough for me at times but you always make me smile.

All my other cousins i love you all and you have a special place in my heart.