Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Manchester & chester 2016

Earlier on in the year I had a great trip to Manchester and Chester with my friend heather fro, Dublin, it's always lovely to see heather.

Unfortunately my health wasn't the best but we tried to make the best of it! We met in Manchester at the train station! And off we went to the palace hotel apartments which I've stayed at a few times! It's always lovely there! After some unpacking and getting dressed we was off to my favourite place to eat Rossos for a lovely meal. Well die to my eating I had mash potatoes but heather had some lovely food! 

We had a walk back through Manchester, stopping at morrisons for some lemonade and other goodies! Then we settled down to watch a bit of football before I went off to bed I was shattered and was excited to be visiting Chester as id never visited.

We was up early, got a taxi to the train station! Picked up our train station, the assistance I'd booked hadn't been logged but luckily we had some one to help! The train journey was about an hour going through some beautiful landscape at times! When we arrived at Chester the train manager kept his promise and got us off the train with the ramp, thank you mr train manager! We then got a cab to the hotel! A new hotel the Grosvenor.

Upon arrival the hotel porter retrieved a ramp for us and off I went out luggage was taken and stored for us. The room wasn't ready but they did let us check in and we left our luggage, they kindly rang us a taxi .. We was off to Chester zoo!! 

The zoo it absolutely huge but also amazing, I hadn't been to the zoo for a long time and I really enjoyed myself, seeing the animals in particular the little baby meerkats! The zoo was well laid out and over all I was impressed with the accessibility! The zoo offers the career to enter for free with you. After a long walk round a pit stop for some food, we rang the kind taxi driver who confirmed he'd pick us up around 4.30pm .. Time Togo in the shop! I brought the cutest magnet with a meerkat on it! 

After we got back from the zoo we asked if our room was ready, which it was! The lady kindly showed us to our room and explained about breakfast and such. The room was beautiful, we decided to chill for a bit then we went down stairs for the best lemonade I've ever had and some food for heather! That night we chilled out watching to and having a chat, which I really enjoyed :) 

The next day and heather got up early and went for breakfast, mine was delivered to the room at 9:30am, I really enjoyed the thick creamy milk that was full of vital calories as well as a hot choc which was yummy! I also got some toast which heather tried! And a croissant I took for later! 

After packing and saying goodbye to the room, we left out bags at the hotel and went sightseeing, the main trip was the cathedral which was amazing, I lit a candle for my nan while there.

We also went into the centre and onto the Roman wall! Then I retreated to the hotel as I was feeling in a lot of pain and heather went to look at some ruins while I enjoyed another lemonade! After a toilet break, we headed back to the train station. 

Again no pre booked assistance which did annoy me but these things happen, we was helped on at Chester and enjoyed a trip back, I was in real pain at the point and kindly heather said she didn't mind if I left earlier than planned. 

I was on my way home after saying goodbye, I had a little cry as leaving earlier wasn't planned and I was going to miss heathers company. I was also really stressed as my bank card had been stopped due to a fraud on my account! Luckily I was able to get hold of uncle Charlie and he was able to pick me up as I had no money on me!

I was glad to get Home and see my pets and have my bed, I had a few days rest before I was able to fully bounce back.

Thank you for a great weekend heather :) 

Sunday, 5 June 2016


Since getting rheumatoid and its continued demise on my body, I mean it's gone from walking to being in a wheelchair .. I lost my identity.

So I've been sat thinking .. What does Vicky like ..

Football - I enjoy going to watch the games but I also like being involved in the sport 

Traveling - I enjoy exploring new places and taking in the atmospher and such, I havnt quite worked out how I can carry on doing this yet .. I'll have to think about it.

Taking photos - I've always enjoyed taking photos since I was a teenager, I recently got a bridge Nikon camera I'm looking at getting a tripod and maybe a buzzer so I can continue with my love of photo taking.

Crafts - I enjoy being creative with words, planning, scrape booking, card making and even sewing. I'm sorting my head round all of these so I can get happy crafting again

I'm sure there's other stuff I will come across while rediscovering .. Who knows I might find something new!

Dear you .. Who is you? It might be me? It might be just a word

Dear you,

I'm 31 now I can not quite believe it myself, still feel like I'm 30! But I wanted to write to help you understand, when I was 16 years old I got diagnosed with clinical depression and I don't know if you know about that but it means periods of low mood, tearful times, these can last for weeks, I'm a server to moderate in diagnoses, I get on with it! But even before that I was born with Fallots, a broken heart it had an operation to repair it but I see the dr every year, just to keep an eye on it! While I was growing up I got croop that turned into asthma, can you believe it, my lungs and heart fucked! I kept going though, bouncing along in my own little world, I mean if I knuckled down I'd be ok, everyone told me they'd be proud of me what ever happened when I took my exams, but I wanted to make them proud. 

I had a few years peace it was great then the shit just hit the fan, life would never be the sane again. I got rheumatoid arthritis, at 31 I crnt even get out of bed myself now, but I keep smiling until I have a down period, then I wake up crying at my situation, that I crnt walk, crnt live my life how I want to. Then things got worse I was diagnosed with adjustment disorder that has many elements, I don't really get it, it wasn't really explained, or I couldn't take it in, I'm not sure! I know it means I don't cope well with change, it also has reactive depression within the condition, so that's two types of depression I fight with every single day, yet I'm still smiling. Then I got an eating disorder well technically it's a relapse can you imagine crying at the sight of food, I want to eat it, the chicken, the chips, the chocolate eclair but I crnt .. I have to eat soup or puréed food right now with a supplement drink three times a day, but you still see me smiling. Then you come to the anxiety and panic attacks I suffer daily 20+ a day, but I keep smiling, I have to keep smiling. Then I forgot about the osteoporosis my bones are weaker apparently it's typical of rheumatoid, great thanks for that! 

My hands are deformed, my feet swell, I still get my nails done, I still smile could you?  Oh I nearly forgot the hearing loss in one ear and near deafness in the other, I often forget as I lip read and if I don't hear I just smile politely!

When I go to football just for 90 minutes I feel totally normal, Doing a normal thing with my mates, but thanks to one incident I've been having nightmares and even anxiety attacks about going .. I made it to Wembley though I sucked it up!

So you see life is not easy for me from the moment I wake up to the moment of that last nightmare, but I keep smiling, you've seen me smile, yet I don't know why I have Togo through this shit, who's to blame? Probably the biological dad and his bad genes, I blame myself, mum told me not to about my heart, it's one of them things she'd say. Now though I blame me for not being strong enough.

I just wonder how many people could live my life and still smile, being in pain 24/7 fucked body and fucked mind? 

Don't judge people .. YOU don't know what they are dealing with 

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Season review. ... Part one

So I find myself at the end of season 2015/2016 what a season it's been for me personally and Manchester United! We have contested in the premier league, capital one cup, FA cup, champions league and Europa league! It's certainly been emotional! 

The first place I'd like to start though is at the end! This season has been a real adventure, I've made so many new friends along the way which has made the season even more special, we have got soaked together, froze together, sang together and celebrated a few birthdays a long the way! So here's a few thanks, hi 5s and see you next term! Martin G thanks for villa, semi final and final at Wembley! Andy B thanks for the European trips, the long away days and the home adventures! Peter thanks for keeping our winning streak .. Let's keep it going next season! Thanks to Raman for the lift and the super company, thanks to Martin S for the chat and support. Thanks to Carolyn for helping me out at Bournemouth! Thanks to Dan for our Southampton adventure! Thanks to Eric for coming to say hi at Everton and Bournemouth and palace! Thanks to Bebo for a fun evening in Derby, place went off!! Thanks to everyone else who I've met along the way this season, see you next season!! 

Now to a very special group my MUDSA friends, where do I start?! This season has been tough at times for all of us but we stuck together and kept smiling and supporting United .. It's been emotional, I shall miss you over the summer! See you all next season! Kevin, we have become close this season since our first official meeting last season "scary brummie" we have shared many laughs and you've helped me with my eating issues. Big hiya to Martin your body guard .. Glad he recovered from his killer flu to help you LOL! Andy M our first encounter was when we was both moaning at being pissed wet through in Brugge and the flooded area, we have become good friends since, we are similar in many ways! Thanks for caring after seeing me in a bad shape with my eating. Big shout out to his pal Nigel don't think we ever chatter but see you a lot! Zoe it's been lovely having our chats when I've seen you at away games, big hello to Richard your lovely hubby been fab getting to know you both. Scott thanks for Bournemouth we may have been lost and without taxis but we made it back for food and drinks! Then we move on to little Alex who makes us all smile, it's been such a privilege to watch you grow and progress this season your an absolute credit to your family and of course our away mascot, you rock! Your dad Jon has been an absolute gem this season thanks for your friendship and care when I've  been going through some tough times, also lovely to meet your wife Victoria at Stoke and of course your brother in Brugge it's been a pleasure meeting your family. Shoutout to Liz who is such a lovely person so glad we got Togo to a home match together, we saw rashford United debut I'll never forget that, also all the help you've given me this last season.  Lastly Ann Marie, who I've seen at home matches and Wembley, so glad I was sat near you and we got our pic, it's been a pleasure getting to know you thanks for all your advice and help. 

You see this year personally has been really tough for me, with my health deteriorating, my nan passing away and then my eating disorder coming back, yet my football family stood by me through it all, for that I'll be forever grateful for, I hope we are friends for life!

 My first official game of the new season came early on, an away trip to Aston Villa which isn't far from home! As ever the day didn't start well, traffic and the road closed! We eventually got there and we didn't have a clue where Togo! So off we went in amongst the home fans rocking it, hey we sounded like them! Now we asked a steward who handed me a ballon, I'm 30 years old! Then a sweet, well that's different! Found our entrance, Martin finished his drink before they gave him his change!! Now we went to our seat, yup not the best sat with the villa fans, great! We actually thought the game might be called off as fans were well lacking but eventually the red army emerged! I had Kev and Martin to my right and Jon and Alex to my left! I spoke to kev a little as he asked Martin to help him. I was then basically ear wigging Jon and Andys conversation about Brugge and throwing my two pennies in when needed! The game ended well and my first 30.8 miles were completed! 

What next European adventure!!

So we found out we had tickets the Friday of the villa game and had to give our travel plans by the Monday, the stress! Oh and Andy B didn't have his updated passport, things were tense! So we decided I'd make my way to London the day before, stay over in Kent then head to the tunnel, drive and park at Brugge stadium then drive back after the match. Sounds simple doesn't it! Well with waiting for a passport, which did arrive hurray! It was a bit of an adventure! 

So my first leg was getting to the train station, I made it and before I knew it I was waving bye to my brother and Birmingham here I come London! I arrived in London then had the normal hassle getting across London with the wheelchair, the lifts and my many bags! Finally arriving at the o2 for the 3rd phase to Kent! It was a bad trip but my mind was thinking oh the early morning! Upon arrival at Andys I had to rearrange my luggage as I was taking a day bag! Plus had some cheese scones! We popped to Tesco to get a few essentials, phone charger, squash and cheese lol! After lunch was sorted it was time to get some shut eye!

Who knew there was a 5am?! The things you do for MUFC after a struggle with my joints lol I was up dressed and ready, got in the car and away we was, got about quarter of the way then Andy went forgot my phone, so back we went lol! Finally on our way second time lucky, and a final check, phones, Chargers, passports, match tickets yup got it all!! We made it to train, disabled line was empty! Then it didn't open and I was really mad! Lol so I was grunting to myself and then tweeted the euro tunnel! We eventually got on the next train, a later one than expected, I could have slept in longer! Now I was a bit nervous, never been on tunnel before, i had been following my pals journey on Facebook now it was my turn! Bye bye England ... Hello France only took about 30 mins! 

We had to drive through France which was enjoyable, then Belgium and boom lost, it was a weird looking roundabout and it confused the sat nav, I think we went round it about 8 times!! But all was not lost we found Brugge! Then got lost again, I swear we went up and dos the same street 6 times, even ended up in a wood at one point!! We then asked a police officer who directed us and finally parked up to be told u have Togo into the city centre, what!!!! 

So after a bite to eat and a bit of rearranging in the car off we went! It was a longish walk and not knowing where we was going didn't really help! We made it though, I was grumpy so many cobbles it hurt so bad! But I got my postcard and magnets! Then went into the main square and soaked up the atmospher and tried to locate Peter and Gordon, no luck though! We were advised to head back ahead of the United March so off we went, stopping to get dad some chocolate! The journey back was a bit quicker well it felt it! I jumped in car for a bit then I spotted the United wheelchairs! Rain was coming down but if we was all there they might let us in early! They did yes!! 

Now it was absolutely pissing it down! Brugge kindly gave us a rain Mac (LOL) In blue of all colours! The best was yet to come! The wheelchair section was terrible flooded and a huge wall, well that started me off moaning and Andy M was moaning! I spoke to Jon & Nigel with Alex! We was all moaning haha, bonding exercise lol! Luckily the rain stopped for the game, and the club de flooded us! Me I'm small and Alex is a child so we wasn't seeing  over the wall! Before kick off and outside in our blue macs we was all chatting, Jon suggested we sat by the emergency gate, fantastic! We could see woho! Now amongst all the noise I somehow heard a whistle and looked up at the United fans and it was Peter waving, I waved back and rather amused with my hearing I heard anything! Now a few other funny things happened that night, first a lad got on the pitch and stopped and the steward fell on his ass, we all laughed! Next the United fans in full voice, were told that the last train back to Brussels was due to leave and they'd miss it if they didn't leave it what did they do .. "And now your going to believe us we're going to miss the train" to much laughter from the Brugge fans, they have a great sense of humour! We won YES! Then it was time for me to use toilet as we was heading straight home, before leaving we was all like see you Sunday! Firstly the toilet was flooded and I got water on my head marvellous! Then I got locked in .. They didn't check the toilet they just locked it! So me full international flapping my arms haha! I decided I'd learn help for any further trips! We eventually got out! We were back in the car after a mufc official telling me to behave haha! Then the cops holding us for 8 mins while they decided  if we should wait for the united lot! The car felt good, I could maybe sleep! We went back through the wood lol a police escort this time getting the fans out ASAP! We managed to get back safely to France, then got lost haha! Well it was late! We eventually got on the train back to England! The roads were empty and I was feeling tired but buzzing football does that! Although I remember my head hitting the pillow and then waking up late the next day a little confused, what happened yesterday! My job fir that day was to ring Swansea and book parking, none left darn! So we'd have to wing it! The next few days went quickly I mainly slept! Was I going to be ready for Swansea, of course I was!! 

Swansea away, another early start, but I was going home after! I hadn't seen my kitties for a while! Now back In the car, I have to admit I was dreading it, I hadn't fully recovered from my jaunt across Europe! But here I was off again ready to embark on a Welsh adventure! As we were traveling I was quite dam it was hurting, why was I doing this to my body? For the love of Manchester United, I'd be ok! We discovered the main bridge was closed so had to use the other! I started needing the toilet, so we stopped and it didn't even have a cash point or white chocolate, unimpressed Vicky! The traffic was just awful going through Cardiff it was a real ball ache! We made it, a little tension trying to find a car parking space but we did, my body was just hurting so bad, I knew I was in trouble! We made our way around the ground, to where the traveling Reds were! We was told we could enter through the wheelchair door by a lovely DLO. Swansea is very good for disabled fans, lifts, DLO on hand to fetch stuff for you. Large toilets. Mostly was good to see everyone, the hardcore few who'd been n Brugge days earlier! Plus kev was here! We all had a chat before I knew it was back to the car and see you in September! The journey Home was long as I was tired and hurting a loss made it worse! 

Football millage & chapter titles! 15/16


Aston villa away 30.8 miles "brummie adventure"
Brugge away 602 miles "lost, woods & rain "
Swansea away 390.6 miles "Wales with grump"



Southampton 266 miles "south coast with love"

266 miles


Everton 230 miles "redditch reds"
Home v city 200 miles "derby day"
Palace 250.4 miles "to view or not to view"

680.4 miles


Leicester 110 miles "cold and rain"

110 miles 


Home v West Ham 200 miles "cockney away fans!"
Wolfsburg 1364 miles (282 miles) "frozen in Wolfsburg"
Bournemouth 310.6 miles " seat flipping"
Stoke 108.4 "flying balls"

1983 miles


Newcastle 444.6 miles  "Gateshead stay"
Derby 136.4 miles "lads and taxis""

581 miles


Chelsea 238 miles "hail or no hail"
Shrewsbury 88 miles "nearly there"
Home game v mijitland 200 " freezing with the Scandinavians"



Liverpool 215 miles " in deepest Cheshire"
Liverpool at home 200 miles "flares and all"
Manchester city away 200 miles "traffic!" 

615 miles 


Wembley 200 miles semi final "expensive beers"


Wembley 200 miles final! Unknown title 

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Re-feeding and me

So unfortunately I'm battling a really tough eating problem, my dr is confident I can beat this and so am I with the right support. But right now is really tough because reintroducing food is dangerous as my body isn't use to it so can make me ill and if you add anxiety and panic around food, it's a really shit time for me right.

I just want to feel better again


Saturday, 5 March 2016

Mother's Day

So tomorrow is Mother's Day 2016

Every Mother's Day is hard since my mum died in August 2008. This year feels harder because I miss her so much and nans death is still so raw. My mum never wanted anything large all she wanted was a hug. Of course we, me and my brother always spoilt her, cards, teddys, Jewlery, chocolates and I'm sure other stuff too.

My mum wasn't one for materialistic things, she just loved and wanted her family around her. You see my mum wasn't well I never knew though, she's was a wonderful person.

To my mum,

I loved you ever minute you was here and missed you every minute you was away. We was mother and daughter we was so similar in the way we looked, I never realised until you was gone. You made me who I am, you wanted me to have fun but I insisted on having my head in a book ud say go have fun! I am having fun now mum, I go football, dancing too but don't worry I don't sing well apart from football but that's ok, no one can hear me! I've experienced so much since u died and I so wish ud been able to see the holidays, the days out. Most of all I wish u was here to give me the biggest hug, to help me get through this horrible disease, I know it be easier with you. 

I love you mum

If your mum is still here, give her a call and or a hug spoil her on Mother's Day. Mums are very special to us all.