Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Acceptance and friendship

Apologises everyone, I meant to blog yesterday but I spent the day at the docs and a bit grumpy after seeng off a nasty chest infection and the flu I have acquired tonsillitis .. You could not make it up!

Anyway two blogs in one today that kind of interlink so keep reading to find out how ( the explanation will be between the both!)

When I was diagnosed with rheumatoid in 2008, I didn't realise the severity of how fast it was going to change my life, I was 23 don't forget! I guess I was a bit Nieve as well, I mean what was this? And arthritis but my nan and dad have it and they are ok! Was some of my Initital thoughts .. Well after I had stopped crying and got off the pavement, that I'd decided I'd fall on to with my tears flowing.

The thing is I didn't understand what rheumatoid was, what rheumatoid could do, I wasn't give these tools by any of my medical team, I just knew they felt bad for me! I wasn't ready to ask questions because I was still in a state of shock after loosing my mum and then getting sick, I mean come on these are major life changing things going on!

So it took me a long time to accept I was really poorly with another chronic illness when j say along time I don't think I've accept this disease party from lack of info at the Start, I think if you are informed properly you will no doubt accept it easily.

7 years on ... I have more information and understand the disease and have many pals with rheumatoid and other types of arthritis. My top tips for acceptance

1. Ask questions from medical personnel 
2. Reach out to arthritis charity's like arthritis research uk and some have specialist disease based charities like national rheumatoid arthritis society. 
3. Talk to your family
4. Talk to your friends 
5. Seek out other suffers who will understand your worries, have been through the medication journey and will understand not being able todo what you use to!

My brain still thinks it can do everything 23 year old Vicky could without arthritis, but it crnt nasty brain trying to trick me haha!! 

 So what has acceptance and friendship got to do with each other. Firstly your arthritis pals will understand you and have to a level accepted this disease which helps you to keep going at times.

But then your "normal" friends need to understand the disease and also ACCEPT you are the same person who laughs and jokes with them but also realise your body isn't what it was and you may need to sit down more while out or need pushing the wheelchair, but that's a whole other level of acceptance for both of you! 

Friendship, let's face it we all need friends. I've a mix bag of friends lol from many walks of life male and female.

The thing is though my friends are all relative NEW friends well some are 7 year sting now! Why is that I hear you ask? Because people couldn't adjust to me suddenly needing the wheelchair and not being as independent as I use to be (even though I travel most weekends to the football lol) it was hard for them to seeing the person they knew changing but of course I was changing j was suddenly motherless and arthritis was here. Then the wheelchair came along and people disappeared even more, it was deverststing.

However on a good point, it's not all bad, I have some great friends who I have met because of arthritis  and life long heart friends, I guess us sick people stick to each other!! I won't name names but you know who you are! 

Then I have my other friends who have other chronic illnesses who get that frustration, of being too ill to go out on a night and sitting at home watching the pics on social media, while your sat with your hot water bottle and thinking wish I was there but oh this is so warm, it's cold out there, love you guys!

Then we have my normals LOL who have accepted the mouthy Burnett with her crazy dog and annoying joints lol! We just get by one way or another! 

Then there are my football family! Who have accepted me as me wheelchair and arthritis and all, we laugh joke, shout at the game, and keep in touch, we enjoy a chat a good laugh. But they have accepted me for me, even if we do disagree on players performance because that's the thing about football it's about opinions. Plus I mean we have all had some laughs from Cambridge away to Liverpool to Newcastle and Brugge and everything in between! I know they have always got my back which is a good feeling

So I'll finish off here, by saying learn to accept your new body's limits and remember it's not just you trying to accept the change it affects you all. I'm lucky I've managed to get a new group of pals and others have managed to keep hold of there old pals and extended! 

Acceptance is a big thing with arthritis but so is friendship.

Have a good day girls and guys xx

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