Thursday, 9 April 2015

The grove (a name given to the town I live!)

You see for the last I don't know two years I've said and been looking to move to my spiritual home of Manchester the place I love and feel comfortable but today I've been sat thinking of my town, my home and got a bit emotional.

You see early in 1985 I made my way In to this world, I mean I was born in our community hospital I'm a real "grove" (nickname)  girl, but I've never settled here. 

After being born I went to the big city cuz I was sick! Then I came home to the whole street out banners and everything for me when I came home after open heart surgery I had survived.

Before that though my town had pulled together to support my mum, my family. Yet still i don't feel i belong.

Grove was the place I went to school, all three, to college for a night course it was where I experienced my first work experience in a kitchen, where my god mother worked.

You see this little town we have been been through a lot together, good and bad times,

When my granddad died and you came to pay your respects to a great man

When my mum died you where there for me in your own way

I've said goodbye to mum here when I went off to uni, when uncle has gone back to Canada 

I've Been bullied here too .. I even met my first boyfriend here peter! 

But now I'm 30 and I'm surrounded by sadness,

I remember sitting waiting for my real dad to come In Nan's house

I look out my window to the graveyard where I know too many people In there

When I visit my dads I see mums resting place 

When I visit the community hospital I see the windows of the rooms my mum and granddad passed away in.

So grove there have been good times and bad times and sadness 

But you see that's why I need to leave to let go of the triggers that make me so sad to release myself from the spell of this small town, Togo out on my own invisable just a girl in a wheelchair that no one cares about 

Not "so and so's daughter/niece/cousin/granddaughter" or the "heart kid" or "the girl in the wheelchair" 

What's going to hurt most of all though is saying goodbye to my family I know it's not forever because I'll be back as they say but it'll be weird being 100 miles north of them! 

1 comment:

  1. A very heart felt blog darling. Lovely as well.xxxx