Thursday, 9 April 2015

To my mum

Dear mum,

This year 2015 marks 7 years since you died and went to live with angels and how things have changed. You see mum when you died I went Into shock and my body couldn't cope so I got a disease called rheumatoid arthritis, I know right I'd never heard of it either. It's been tough adapting to life with out you and with rheumatoid. You see I didn't just loose my mum on August 20th I lost my best friend and my fountain of knowledge, I mean who else could tell me how to make actual rocks in the oven .. Yes I remember dad breaking his tooth on them too! Who else could hold me and tell me it is all going to be ok, who else can I ring when I just want a chat about mummy daughter things? No one because no on can replace you. 

I am lucky that I have a good family around me and you know mum that's credit to grandad and nan because family values are important. I still go round to dads every Sunday for lunch, but lets face it mum, no one is ever going to make roast potatoes like yours! Or even cheese and potato pie because mum they were your specialities in the kitchen! I mean Carolyn use to come round just for cheese and potatoe pie lol!  

You see mum I crnt walk any more and so it's tough these days you know todo simple things that we all take for granted. But I don't moan much mum because you showed me how to battle hard and long against disease, you see mum ever now I am looking at you for advise and guidance.

I've changed to since you died, I think I found myself again in many ways, I love going to music gigs esp with Carolyn because we like the same music, we have seen many people we are going to see olly this month and a music all dayer in may, haha yes we are doing to rock in Manchester! 

I also changed because I realised something that I had often let things get in the way of traveling but no I don't mum I just do it because life's to short, I'm still not that keen on flying though! You'd laugh at me when I was in France because I had to be carried down the steps of the plane in my wheelchair how you would have laughed but I know you'd have been worried too! I always said I'd travel and I love it mum.

I know you know I always liked football, remember when I sat with dad in the kitchen shouting at refs and ud be sat watching the soaps, wondering what all the fuss was about! I've gone to quite a few football matches but I don't go with dad, or uncle Charlie I go on my own, well with friends but not family. I go and shout and often in my funny pink hat, now mum you'd really laugh at that! I think you'd like the lads at football mum they are always polite to me and helpful with my wheelchair, even if we re sat with home fans! Or worse still I'm moaning I crnt see anything! 

I also started doing a lot of bothering for disabled sports fans mainly around football but others sports too, trying to make things fair for us all you know mum because that's important isn't it? You always taught me never to let things lie if I believed in it and I havnt I even wrote to the FA! (Don't worry mum I know you don't know who that is!)

Something else though mum you know I've had my struggles and my tears but you told me to look I to my self and find out who I am and I really feel that I know that to an extent and I even feel like I belong somewhere now with my football friends that's where I am happy the most mum.

But mum you know the main thing you always told me to keep family close and I do, me and Carolyn do loads together and I saw Chris near my birthday, I wish I saw him more though. I see peter every week even if he'd rather not! I also see dad every day. I'm going on holiday with aunty pol and uncle Charlie this year and I can not wait although I think uncle Charlie is abit nervous! I spoke to aunty Rita and uncle andy too when I can. I don't see nan that much it's hard for me and she often calls me she and it upsets me mum.

You see mum we all miss and love you but mum you are never forgotten everyone remembers aunty sue, sister sue or just mum.

Maybe I will write to you again mum it's been good to chat! 

Love you mum

Your tricky vicky xxx

1 comment:

  1. Vicky your mum died on my wedding anniversary and i say god bless her she brought up a beautiful daughter and yes Vicky you are beautiful. You know she walks beside you all the time. She is a breeze in the air,a feather you see on path a smell you regonise.. She has never left you she is always there when you look in the mirror darling. A beautiful blog and one of your best darling.You should go into writing darling as it is very well written