Thursday, 5 November 2015

It's been a long road

Seven years ago I was diagnosed with a condition that I'd never heard of, rheumatoid arthritis, seven years ago I didn't know what it was or how it was going to affect my life.

At 22 I had my whole life in front of me, a career, a partner, a life ... High heels, coats, shoes and more clothes than I probably needed.

Then my mum passed away of cancer, it was the worse thing you can imagine, I lost my mum, my best friend. But I also lost my rock.

Then I got rheumatoid arthritis and my life fell apart, suddenly I'd lost my support, suddenly I'd lost everything I knew.

It wasn't just rheumatoid, it was the depression, the anxiety, the eating disorder the loss of my self esteem and confidence.

As the condition deteriated my phone stopped ringing, the texts stopped buzzing. Friends were gone, they no longer wanted to be part of my life. It hurt it was so painful.

I spent two years alone, scared to go outside because I was ashamed of me, the condition, I tried to put a smile on my face but it wasn't easy todo that alone and no one understanding. That's when I started my blog to help me get things out.

Then my life changed again, friends came back, they became true to me once more, not the same people but new friends in my life, I won't name you because you should know.

Then my life changed again, I got this confidence that I'd forgotten I had for so very long, I went back to football, something I loved but I didn't think I'd go back to. My life got better because I had a purpose again football was my purpose.

With that, came new friends, more confidence, traveling up and down the country in my wheelchair, with my new friends, meeting them at away grounds, or chatting on Facebook, I thank them for that because they don't know what they did for me.

Now I'm in a different place to what I was, I'm not better, I'm not ever going to be better or the same person I was at 22, for a start I crnt wear heels. But I can say that life is different, it's a new life a life I never expected.

Take care of your friends they will help you through the difficult times, new ones are always there waiting for when your ready, they may not be physical but online buddies are just as good 


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