school

I know your thinking what a strange post to have you left school 11 years ago this summer. But school shaped me in many ways and i guess this i what i want to say.

I went through school from the age of 5 to 16. I had my health issues with the fact i could not hear very well and my heart which meant i was ill a lot and often wasnt at school for a full week, infact i can not remember a whole week i was there for.

It was hard for me because i went through school with no real friends that stood by me through thick and thin from 1 school to another. I felt as if i was alone all the time. Dont get me i had some friends but life long friends nope. Some times i wonder what i did wrong in school, i mean i was friendly, i guess its cuz i was always studying working hard, i wanted my education so much it was my focus is that were i went wrong?

I longed to belong to a "group" of friends .. but it never happened so i just got through on my own, i studied hard and just did what i needed to do to get through. I remember that sinking feeling when everyone was getting there results in there groups of friends congratulating each other and me i said hi to a few people in passing but i was on my own from the start to the last day.

I wanted to go back to 6th form after my health meant i couldn't pursue my true love of catering, i just could not cope it was making me feel ill. So i went back to enrol i lasted a few weeks, because i had no one at school i wasnt excepted into people's groups that were there many for 3 years and longer. So as quick as i started i left again.

I ended up taking time out then because i didnt no what to do with my life. I ended up completing my A Levels at Bournville i had a good experience i made some friends who i am still friends with now and i never felt out of place because they liked me for being me.

Why it never happened at school i really dont no.

Reason for this .. been talking about why i find it hard to make new friends well this is why and with my rheumatoid its made harder.

I didnt mean to upset/offend anyone just saying how it felt for me.