In 2008 as all my regular readers will know as well as family and friends I lost my beautiful mum. It's Christmas Eve 2013 and my sixth without mum, they told me it would get easier they promised.
Yet now 2013 December 24th I sit here crying because I miss her so much, it should be a happy time with family. Yet it's not the same.
On the 1/12 we still put out Christmas trees up because that's what my would do. My dad and brother still puts the decorations up the same way she did and the ornaments she brought are I'm the living room, it looks like Christmas but it feels like a sad day.
Now Christmas use to be a mad day. We would get up, normally mum first! We would open our gifts, go and get my nan while dad would be doing the sprouts! We would all sit down round the table at mid-day as a family laughing joking smiling too. Then we would have to wash up and put everything away well actually my dad did!! Then mum would change the table cloth get the paper plates out the spirits the beers and lemonade! Me and my mum would be doing the evening food, cheese and pineapple on a stick, sausage rolls etc. Then my aunty uncle and cousins would arrive with more gifts. We would all sit I'm a circle and me and Carolyn would hand out the gifts them we'd open it nd eat and drink. A true family Christmas.
Fast forward to Christmas 2013. Tomorrow I'll go to dads around 10ish we will open gifts then eat out lunch me dad and Pete. Dad be in the kitchen peter and I in the living room not round the table though (some because of my rheumatoid). Then we will have a chat then ill head home and spend Xmas night alone.
My mum loved Christmas she was Christmas to me and I shall cry many tears over the festive period but I know she would want me to be happy and one day I will be when the pain gets easier.
I miss my mum and the Christmas sprit so very much.
Wishing you all a very happy Christmas I hope Santa brings you everything you could wish for.