My whole life ive been poked, proded saw a lot of doctors, infact i some times say ive seen more doctors than you've had hot dinners to my younger brother! Never can i remeber a time when i didnt have to sit in a waiting room, for my heart, general ill health, general check ups now for rheumatoid and such related to.
Its been hard at times accepting that i will never be free of my chronic illness's because its some thing you always hope one day you will be free of, not sitting in the hospital the week of christmas waiting to see your consultant or sitting in a hot hospital in the middle of a heatwave wishing you were outside like everyone else not going to have an ECG.
I say these things but you no its so normal to me that i think it would be strange not to be seeing doctors! Over the years i have seen hospitals re-locate, gone from child's to adult's care which is scary i cried for days!
You become a number to many a heavy load of files to others. I look in my diary now and think wow 2012 is well mad i have appointments set until Decemeber next year!
Once when i was little i had to go to the general hospital for a check up to have my imunisations as i couldn't have them at school like my friends and doctor came and checked me and he'd never heard a "techtrology of fallots" heart before he was fasinated so off he went moments later i had a whole host of doc's listening to my heart"
Now don't get me wrong i am pleased i can help doc's hear a "different" heart i am pleased i can help people learn about "life with chronic illness's" but its been a long and rocky road and one that at times i have felt like saying no thanks to because it got to much, ive contenplated going AWOL before! But it would not benifit me not in the slightest it may only make things more complicated.
I dont no what the coming years hold for me, but ive seen that many doc's now i dont think it will phase me.
If you live with a chronic illness never give up and remeber that the doctors who are proding you and poking you are trying to help you ultermatly, letting them help you can make your life better even if its just that chat or that reassurance from the doctor that makes you feel better about it all.
My final word goes to my own GP who is retiring this week, ive shed some tears at the thought of it but from the bottom of my heart i thank him for everything he has done for me, the flu jab, the blood tests, the ear suctioning, the understanding, for everything he did to make my mums life as easy as it could be. I will be forever greatful, you will be missed!