Difficult day

Been a long day, unfortunatly i was up late as i didnt get much sleep last night, insomnia had hit and i wasn't happy. I had like 10 mins to get ready lucky it was a carer who could do it quick and one that knew what to do it and quick. Got to my appointment and then waited a while. Saw my doctor and was given some new drugs to hopfully help with my low mood and general downess. I am stubbon its offical my doctor said so! He also gave me a lot of wise words about my mum passing away things i think i needed to hear. He wants to help me which is most important. The worse thing is the realisation that driving isnt an opition right now and i may never do so again as if this condition isnt bad enough its now on the verge of taking away the last independance that i have, rheumatoid you really are giving me hassle. My gp did say to me that the rheumatoid has taken everyone by suprise in terms of my doctors, to be fair i have a lot! But hey rheumatoid took me by suprise to so i guess its a mutural shock!

I then went for my Reiki which was good as always im tired tonight though so thats why i am writting the blog earlier plus i was out last night and didn't sleep well at all. I then came home and chilled mainly im tired and got a lot of thinking to do.

I cried twice today, once in front of my GP when i declared that my life was a mess and its falling apart, which i no only i can change with the help from my amazing medical team and support network without them this battle would be very hard.

The second time i cried was a rare occation as i broke down to my couisin who i love very much im normally so strong in front of my family but i just broke into tears and admited everything my eating, lonelyness, feeling depressed, my general fears for life. She cried to we spoke about my mum to and i think it upset her which was not my intention.

Found out my Saturdays tickets will be posted next week thank you wembley arena! For my upcoming girls weekend to London which ive been waiting for, for like 6 months! Can not wait for my girls weekend, a nice break!