RA meeting Day

So today i got up late as is always the case when you no you have things on. I was in pain and in such a flap had 30 mins to get ready but i really wanted to just chill out and talk this morning1 Oh well! Had my meeting at 11am i felt it went quite well my feelings were expressed clearly and i think things will now be put in place to make things better for me both in the mornings and evening. Also accepting to have people to come in and do a meal for me which is a huge thing because i dont no how i am going to cope with some one else coming in my house and cooking my food, because of my phobias, i guess we will have to wait and see but if it doesnt work then i guess it was just to soon and i can easily try again.

Then i had to pop out for some pet food why do they always run out at the same time! Always expensive pet food day!

Then i had my bath which i always enjoy because we have a chat first and after wards. It feels more like a friend is visiting rather than a carer in fact i do count this person as a friend opposed to a carer as i trust this person with my food and even walking ben! I feel happy knowing this person is coming in and feel i can tell her my fears, i can be upset, happy or anything in between basically totally honest about how i am feeling which feels so good. Some times i dont feel i can open up to my family because i dont want them to be worrying about me in pain and struggling. I dont open up to my friends either because i feel that i can not as they just dont understand and i dont want to upset them as i know this condition has hit them to seeing there friend go down hill so rapidy.

Thank you so much to this person you know who you are, you really have made a difference to my outlook on life. I apreciated it more than you can imagine.

Then i got ready for my Rheumatoid meeting. I always enjoy it. This time it was a social event and for the first time i was left alone and i had to speak to people. My confidence is low and for me to be left in a room of people just got me! But you no what i was fine, enjoyed myself i spoke to some new members caught up with other members i've seen before. Talked to a member about opportunities in teaching which was a great help to me. I also spokle to a lady who helped me realise that i need to have some "vicky" time things i enjoy. It really hit a nerve and shes very right i do need some vicky time which is constant, time for this girl to flower!

Busy day tomorrow i have the doctors and then reiki then im going to start looking at a few things for me, because you no what i am MORE than rheumatoid im a person and i have things i enjoy.

xx